The only way to keep myself from crying is to get angry. I hate that. I pick fights and get angry at stupid stuff to keep myself from thinking about how I feel. I bring up arguments and old fights so that I can be furious at something other than my indecisiveness.

I am at a crossroads and I am terrified. I hurt. I don’t know how to make decisions about my life. I want to be independent but I am terrified that I will screw it up. I have 32 days ... give or take..to make a major life decision and I don’t know where to turn. Every one gives me a different opinion about what to do and how to go about it. There are so many things that are contingent on this, or that. What happens here affects that, and what happens there affects this.

got the pictures of the after party up on the CAMP page.  im so excited bout that.  those pictures were taken in August and its now November...boy..i really am a slacker...he he.  Oh well.  BUT I did get them password protected, and that makes me happy.

I’ve got this HUGE project due Wednesday...a presentation actually...but I’ll do fine.  I may not make the best sense...but it will be cool.

this chick today...her presentation was about the way we dress and how it effects society.  cool topic but she made a comment about the way people dress...women specifically...being a factor in rape.  Rape is a crime of power.  I was in jeans and a t-shirt when I was raped.  Rape is a crime of power, not one about sex.  Another thing about her presentation that irked me was that she kept talking about the declining morals of the US because of clothing.  Well shit..the body is a beautiful thing..maybe we shouldn’t cover it up.  Jenifer Lopez looked most awesome in that dress at the Grammies.  She’s worked hard for that body and she deserves to show it off.  I wouldn’t wear that dress - not cause I think it’s immoral - but because I wouldn’t look good. � id look like a big sausage in a green wrapping ::laugh::

let see...well..i think I�ve covered my dork topics for today..stay tuned..i may be back today...and I WILL be back tomorrow..

I am so confused. I don’t know what to do.  should i stay or should i go? what if I go and TheBoyFriend&0153; dies and I never get the chance to live with him? it may sound stupid but i am terrified that I will make the wrong decision.  what if i stay and things go really bad between us because we lived together too soon. what do I do? do I stay or should i go? I could lose him either way.

The concert was awesome.  The opening band was to die for actually.  They are a punk bank called Midtown.They seemed to be having a great time on stage which is always awesome! They even made a joke about how they are punk band on a ska tour.  It was funny.  I got their cd - Save the world, lose the girl, and even got two of them to sign it! (Thanks Gabe and Tyler!) They did a little bit of the Quiet Riot song Come on Feel the Noise which was a crowd pleaser. I actually learned a new word at this concert - affectations.

af�fec�ta�tion (fk-tshn) n. A show, pretense, or display.

1. Behavior that is assumed rather than natural; artificiality.

2. A particular habit, as of speech or dress, adopted to give a false impression.

I really enjoyed the rest of the concert too. Catch 22 was a high energy ska band with a dramatic hot lead singer.  The only think that bugged me was that I never could understand a single word he said.  I guess that he was going to fast for the mic or something.  Oh well..the music sounded great and he wasn’t too awfully hard on the eyes.  Reel Big Fish were a riot!  They are hilariously funny and they sound AWESOME!! Their cover of the Aha song Take of me make me so happy!  I loved it! I am so glad that Kris wanted to go to this show!!  Kel crowd surfed and BestFrind&0153; got kicked in the nose by a crowd surfer. Not cool.  But she’s fine.  We were signing to each other all evening...its easier that trying to yell at each other, but people thought we were crazy! I had a really good time at the concert and riding with Kel and BestFrind&0153; to Columbia. It was a great weekend!

oh my goodness. i am so excited.  we are going to Columbia today to see reel big fish.  Kristen has promised to wear her princess crown all day too! :-) AND she asked kelly and me to be models for her photography class. this is so fun.  Ouija boards are cool...just don’t play them with idiots or liars.  stay tuned for more dorky Luka adventures.

I’m being such a lay about today.  I’m supposed to be doing my laundry..ive got NO clean clothes...but i would rather sit here in front of my computer screen and play ::smiley::

My boyfriend is in Kirksville for a philosophy conference today so I can’t talk to him.  He was so funny last night when I told him that Kris, Kel and I were planning on playing with my Ouija board tonight he got all weird.  he told me to be really careful...to put salt on the ground and stuff...he’s normally so striaght...it was weird to hear him say that silly stuff.  oh well.  I am excited.  I’m going to reel big fish Saturday night and then on Sunday we are having a brunch for my moms birthday.  its supposed to a good time.  then Ive really got to get down to work. Ive got a presentation on wednesday...gr..and I’m am SO not ready for it.  but i bought myself a ticket to the ballet that will be here on wednesday..no one wants to go with me..but i wanted to go...so plbt! I’m going by myself ::smiley:: I went to tap dogs by myself too. This is my third entry today.  I may not get a chance to write tommrow...don’t know if i will be near a computer at all.  well..stay tuned for more dork adventures ::laugh::

this thing is neato.  I’m getting the hang of editing it and i think this is gonna be pretty fun.  I had a nice nap, but i woke up thinking that I had slept all day.  oh well. Ive joined some blog rings...lets see if people read my inner thoughts...he he...that’s kinda scary..

This is my first entry into my new Pita Log.  Today has been a good day so far.  I was on time for work, even after getting breakfast, I got lots of pictures scanned there too.  I was however a little late to class, but thats ok.  I am going to take a nap soon and then do some laundry. I’ve also go to update my webpage later to add this link.