it’s so bloody difficult to keep this pitas log updated. It’s not that I don’t have anything going on in my life...its that I cannot talk about it. Confidentiality an all...did I spell that right? Oh well.

we are getting closer to picking a date for the wedding. we’ve got a budget outlined...which is another step we needed to make. this whole wedding thing is a big stress...but i am excited to be rolling with it

Friday evening I went to the cabaret with three friends - Danny, Herbie and DrummerBoy. It was really fun. Dancing and laughing...and even the stripper was funny...as in funny HA HA not in funny good. He SUCKED!! “You can tell the stripper is bad when the straight girl looks bored.” Those three are SO funny...I had a really great time. Afterwords we went to Chubbies and had some more fun...and some yummy food. There were times I couldn’t breath I was laughing so hard. Thanks guys ;-)

Tuesday is Bear and my’s 4th anniversary. I can’t believe it. It seems like so long and so short at the same time. Yesterday we stayed at the Ramada in St Joe and had dinner at Red Lobster for our anniversary. It was such a nice time. I can’t wait until we get to sleep together every night. I hate being a part from him. At least he is only about 1 and 1/2 away. I wouldn’t be able to deal if he was further away. I miss him all the time, but if I keep busy it doesn’t hurt so much.

Wow...I had more to talk about than I thought...pretty cool....stayed tuned…

I love this city, and my friends who live here. I got to see Bear AND BestFriend this weekend. I am SO not looking forward to leaving this afternoon.

All of the snow is ice covered so there is this lovely shimmer over all of the snow. Which of course makes it a bitch to walk around anywhere, and with my car being rear wheel drive it’s a bitch to drive on too. I haven’t (knock on wood) gotten stuck - so I’m cool.

off to finish my glass of milk and smoke a few fags - cigarettes I mean - and then head to bed with my boy. ;-)

oh how i hate the weather in kc! I was supposed to visit my boy, whom I haven’t seen in about a month, this weekend and the damn weather thwarted my plans. I had even made him some awesome valentine cupcakes. (I ate em.) This is sucky sucky. I am supposed to go visit him next weekend but you never know with the weather here in Mo! :-( No fun, no fun at all!! :-(

lets see...this week I worked about 72 hours cause of a medication aide level 1 training, but this weekend has been very uneventful. I sat around in my pj’s all day yesterday and that was pretty nice. I slept late, very late, and didn’t change outta my pj’s all day. :-) It was radical.

making dinner with my brother, gotta help em or he may burn down the house....

that statement is more true of my life right now than ever before.

Wednesday morning my day started at 8am with a 911 page that wasn’t an emergency. Then I got a page from a # I didn’t recognize so I called it right away - it was 8:30 and I was still in my towel trying to get ready to go to a meeting. This woman didn’t listen to me once about me telling her I HAD to go. Then I the other line rang, and it was for my mother, so I switched over and she talked for 5 minutes before I could get a word in edgewise, the I realize that my mother was gone so I switched back over to my aunt and she told me that her mother in law Colleen has passed away that morning. I got back on the other line and said to the woman “Ma’am, I really need to go now, my grandmother passed away this morning” she said OH..and talked for 10 more minutes. I was appalled! I was so in shock at her insensitivity that I just stood there. Finally she let me go and I made the calls to my parents and then rushed out the door running like 30 minutes late to my meeting. I got lost on the way there, and bammed my head getting outta my car. I then was running late for another meeting so I called a lady who I had to interview later that day to reschedule. She wasn’t in so I left a message - then I realize like 5 minutes later that I called the wrong lady!! Grr...Iso I called the actual lady and found out that I missed her by like 2 minutes!! Grr...then the lady from this morning, who is the lady I did call, called me and I had to explain to her what was going on. And all of this is going on while I’m driving to the office and I HATE talking while driving. So I get to the office and the lady is waiting for me, but I have to go downstairs and do a personality assessment with the founder of the company, the other coordinator, and the rest of the upper staff. That took an hour and a half, while all the while that woman was waiting for me. Oh yah..and when I first got the office I slid on the ice and hit a car. And not just ANY car - I hit the executive director of the ENTIRE company’s Car! There was NO damage, but I still felt that i had to tell her what happened. She laughed :-) It took me 10 minutes to interview that lady, and she waited 90 minutes. Oh well. So then I had an hour before I had to leave again and everyone that I needed to talk to was at lunch so I just made some phone calls. Then I went to a clients house to cover a gap in support and when I got there I had to deal with a missing 50 bucks. Turns out that the client had stolen it because she was mad at me because I wouldn’t let her buy beer. I told her that if we didn’t find the money she wouldn’t get her new TV - that I would send the money back, and 10 minutes after I left she gave the money back. It was a big mess. There were also some relay calls with a deaf staff person, which are always very confusing.
So that was Wednesday.

Thursday morning I met with a paster of a Presbyterian church here in kc to see if getting married was a possibility. We got there are 8:30 am and it proceeded to be the worst meeting I had EVER had! I felt very unwelcome and and very attacked the entire time. I knew within minutes that this wasn’t the place for me. It took an hour and half and I got 10 pages during that time, some of which were 911 and I couldn’t answer any of them. So oh well. So I ate breakfast after that, while I returned phone calls and cried. So I got into the office at about 11, then had to leave at like 12 to go check on a client, who wouldn’t open the door for like 30 minutes, then I had to rush to another meeting which AGAIN I was late for. Then that meeting took way longer than I thought it would. I left with a massive headache and a massive need for food. It was 3:30 by that time. I stopped at Wendy’s and got some food but I couldn’t eat at that point. I was too sick to eat but I needed to eat so I wouldn’t be sick. Eeek. I was so weak on the way home I couldn’t even grip the steering wheel. I literally passed out on the floor when I got home.
and that was Thursday