I was listening to Metallica on the radio today. It was for “whom the bells tolls” from their “Ride the Lightening” album. When it struck me - when I die, I want to know that I am dying. What gave me this epiphany? The lines “Take a look to the sky just before you die - It is the last time you will” Some people say “I want to go peacefully in my sleep.” Not me. When I die I want to know. I want to be able to say goodbye to those I love. I want to be able to take one last look at the sky, the stars, the moon. I want to hear and say “I love you” one last time. I want to know that these are my last moments of life - give myself a chance to appreciate my life. (I am not afraid of death, just pain and loss.) Maybe I will only have one minute before I die when I find out - but take a minute. Count to 60 right now. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60. That’s a DANG long time. Think of all the things you COULD have said to people in that one minute. Or written down, or remembered. I want my one last minute to count. So..when I die. I WILL take one last look at the sky, because it IS the last time that I will.

last Wednesday I took a client to the doctors office. (to make this a BIT easier to read I am going to call my Client Mr. L and the Doctor, Doc X.) Doc X wanted to do some blood work on Mr. L before he wrote the script for the Levothyroxine. Mr. L has a one day supply left of the Levothyroxine. I have been calling since yesterday just trying to get the thing filled. The pharmacy says they have faxed the prescription refill form to Doc X’s office and Doc X’s office says they have faxed it back. The caveat here is that the pharmacy says that HAVEN’T received the fax back. The lady at the Doc X’s office today (Shannon - who I don’t really like anyway) is finally fed up with me, I think. She told me this morning that if the pharmacy is having problems that they should call. I am at the point now where I have called SO much that I am pissing people off, but Mr L STILL doesn’t have his meds. Doc X leaves his office at 1pm - it’s after noon now. If this doesn’t get filled today - I may have to shoot the people. How fucking hard is it? I am thinking that maybe we should get him on a regular distribution of bubble packs that way we know exactly when he’s running low and exactly when his meds will be picked up. This is fucking ridiculous.

currently I should be doing billing paperwork. but I can’t. my damn trunk leaked and got my papers all wet so I am drying them. the hair dryer was giving me a headache so I am taking a break. I am SOOO bored....at this point I’ve got Martha Stewart on :( maybe I can find some nice/naughty person online to chat with…

Update: 3:30am - I found one person..then he got booted and I logged off. I’m a goin to bed.

I have successfully upgraded to MT 2.63. My web server is running like it has molasses running thru it’s veins. It is making editing my webpage a major P.I.T.A

I tried to upgrade tonight to MT 2.63 but was unsuccessful. I didn’t screw anything up, but I couldn’t get anything done either. I think I need Dania’s help. Maybe she will be online tomorrow and I can snag her. I didn’t install my MT originally - I had the nice people AT MT do it for me (for a small fee.) I have no idea what I was doing, so I am actually really glad that I didn’t screw it up.

I figured out how to make a screen cap. I have been using AOL IM to chat with people today. I’ve been here since about 2:30. I wanted to show how DIFFERENT the AIM screen is from my normal one. I had to use a program called Grab to get the screen cap, and then I edited it in Adobe. I am a genuis! :) Can you tell that I am having a “smart” day? :) It must be the Smart Sense white cheddar cheese popcorn that I ate earlier. Not only is the absolutley yummy, but it makes me smart too!! :) This website works the same on the Mac too - the only thing really different is the pull down menu - the colors aren’t all there. But other wise it looks great - which I am happy about :)

currently I am over at my friend Craig’s house. He has a motorcycle that he is going to give The Mr Q&0153; if The Mr Q&0153; can get it to work. Craig has a really pretty I-Mac that I am getting to play on, so I am making the most of it. :) I’ve been surfing and listening to Harry Connick Jr (who by the way sings like an angel.) I am not sure how long we will be here. I like this I-Mac though. It’s really really pretty. All white and shiny. :) I’m such a sucker for pretty shiny things