In college I was much more spiritual - not in the church-going sense, but in “feeling the ebb and flow of the universe”.  Yeah.

I was also quite fearless.  My teenage mindset facilitated this.  If I didn’t fear the trip we took to the crack den to drop off the dealer who hitched a $20 ride from us, I wasn’t going to fear much.  But there was at least one thing that I did fear.

I didn’t know how to describe it at the time, and I still can’t do it well.  It’s a darkness that’s there only in the dark.  It’s the feeling you get when you watch a scary movie and then have to venture into the basement where you find the only light bulb blown out.  Completely nonsensical.  Completely irrational.

As I said - I was into some of that new-age stuff, although I notice that I rationalize this fear now by trivializing it, whereas I did something completely different then - I made an imaginary friend.

Now what you might be thinking is that as a 19-year-old I created an imaginary friend to take with me into the dark basements and creepy city alleyways.  No.  This imaginary friend wasn’t really a friend at all - he was an imaginary enemy, and his name was L’Cai.

L’Cai is a swirling blackness.  He has no eyes, no face, no limbs.  There is no tentacle to strech out and “get” you.  He floated like a fog, but had jagged edges.  His simple presence was enough to give you pause.  You can find him places you don’t leave him.  He can be in more than one place at a time.  He never sleeps, but he dreams.  He lurks.  He waits.

Between my first and second semesters, I bought a snake and named him L’Cai, shackling my fears into a solid form.  He died that summer when the terrarium heating rock went suspiciously faulty.  Somehow, I don’t fear the same things I used to.

Participate in my own FFAF madness, and maybe win a prize!  Have a happy FFAF!

--Owen

Today I Love .. going for my lessons. The more lessons I go for, it only means that my course would be ending sooner each day. It also means that in no time at all, I’ll be able to see my Bachelor cert, and finally start working.

Which also means that the sooner I can start working, the sooner I can save up for more diving and backpacking trips! Woohoo.

-EndlessTrail

Hi Luka,

wishing you a Happy Friday from Germany!
I especially love this Friday, ‘cause I won’t have to go back to work on Monday, I have a week off until the Monday after that! I’m going to Vienna with my class on Sunday!! Woohoo!
Ok, gonna stop rambling.

-- Anna

Today I love...shopping :) I’ve been into leeds, and dragged my brother around all my favourite stores, and bought a gorgeous pair of linen trousers from Muji. They’re fantastic :) but to ask the immortal question..."Does my bum look big in these?”

Opened Early.

It’s that time again.. It’s the last Friday of the month...It’s Free for All Friday time.  Which means this : you can log in and post at incogblogo.  It’s all sorts of fun. You should try it

Suggested Topics :
Something you wish you had been able to aplogize for.
OR
Make up an imaginary friend and describe.
OR
Finish this sentence: Today I love…

Directions and login links in the extended entry

I think that I should be given the choice at whether I want to watch the President speak. ABC should shows a little graphic at 8pm.  I should get to choose whether I want to get angrier and angrier as a I watch a privileged moron speak.  Or happier and happier while watching Joey.  Plus.  When Joey fucks up words - it’s funny. When Joey comes up with some scheme that will clearly not work - It’s funny. When Joey evades questions - It’s funny.  Not when GWB does it. When he does those things I SO don’t get happy.  So NOT happy in fact I spend a great deal of....eh forget it.  It’s just not funny.

I want my god Damn Thursday night shows! He sure as shit better be done by 9. I can’t WAIT for CSI.  It’s all crazy people all the time! :) I want to watch FAKE people do stupid things.  Not stupid people do FAKE things.  See. I can’t even write a good Anti Bush post. He makes my brain stop working right.

While my client takes a literacy test, i’m practicing writing with my left hand. That may be usefull one. Never know - i could break the right one or something. ;) I am just that clumsy. Plus it kills time. And it’s fun. I’m getting kinda good. For a righty anyway. ;)

I’d goofed on the files for the movies. The second one I posted was the same as the first. It’s fixed now. Thanks to ::miss m:: Whoops! :)

(I went to the comedy show tonight. It was funny.  I even won some free tickets! :) )

Listen to my aud post here.