IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER (although, please, do form a line, boys)

1. Ethan Hawke: Did you see Taking Lives? The way he actually got Angie up against the wall like that? Smoooooth.

2. Sandy Cohen: He'd all grumble like he was protesting, but he wouldn't mean it. Afterwards, he'd pour you some white wine and offer to let you stay in his pool house.

3. Tom Ford: Check out this month's Elle, and then think about all the hundreds of fluttering, then firm, then fluttering, then firm caresses that must have gone into that gorgeous pink creation.

4. Humbert Humbert: He totally wouldn't want you, and there'd be all sorts of frantic journal-writing when you were done. Now that's hot.

5. Treach: What was Pepa thinking? Whatta man - the jewelry, the abs, the love for dirty jerz, oof, kill me now.

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