The only way to keep myself from crying is to get angry. I hate that. I pick fights and get angry at stupid stuff to keep myself from thinking about how I feel. I bring up arguments and old fights so that I can be furious at something other than my indecisiveness.

I am at a crossroads and I am terrified. I hurt. I don’t know how to make decisions about my life. I want to be independent but I am terrified that I will screw it up. I have 32 days ... give or take..to make a major life decision and I don’t know where to turn. Every one gives me a different opinion about what to do and how to go about it. There are so many things that are contingent on this, or that. What happens here affects that, and what happens there affects this.